Look. A lot of us don't believe in things. If Van Jones, my (alleged) Green Jobs czar (not to be confused with Jan Jones my Tuesday Night Manicure/Pedicure Czar) has some doubts about 9/11, no biggie. Why you gotta bug out on me?
Everyone doubts. I have some doubts. I doubt that Van Jones is even one of my czars. I have a kajillion czars, how am I supposed to remember who Van Jones is, much less what he's signing on his off time? Maybe Biden picked him. All I can say is he's pretty damn attractive. I could stare into those eyes forever. So warm. So inviting. And yet, if I stare far enough into them, I see an unquenchable fire, burning.
So yes, everyone doubts. I have doubts about "Green Jobs." What is a Green Job? All I know is promised more of them. For the sake of numbers, I'm going to lump Landscaping into the Green Jobs category--BOOM! 100,000 Green Jobs created right there. Does that help the jobless figures any? I'm 34% sure it does.
I know what you are thinking. "You are the greatest, President Obama."
I know. . . I know.
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